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December 5th, 2005
Every year the IWC fans get together and vote for a slew of awards that are all pretty much meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Well, all of them other than Newcomer of the Year, which last year was won in a landslide victory by my good friend, Mr. Shiima Xion, and if there's any justice in this awful world at all, you'll all vote him to win it this year again. The other categories are all pretty forgettable. But there are two awards that would be the pinnacle of accolades for the wrestling world. The Official Christopher K. Maverick Best and Worst Dressed Awards. Unfortunately none of you morons have any fashion sense at all, so you don't get to vote. I'll instead just pick them myself, with a little input from fellow fashion mogul, Shiima Xion.
The Worst
5) Anthony Kingdom James
At Night of Legends 2, Kingdom arrived unshaven, and wearing old jeans and a ratty hooded sweatshirt. He looked like an escaped convict.
4) Jason Gory
Airbrushed T-shirts so went out in the late 80s. And really, this kid needs to learn to use his finger paint better. He always gets it all over his face.
3) Ricky and Herschel Garbanzo
Yes, I'm sure their clothes were quite functional when I hired them to move my piano, but boys you're out in public now. Have some pride.
2) Spyder Nate Webb
Seriously dude. I mean dude, seriously.
1) Troy Lords
You know, I actually like the flaming singlet. But if he's going to wear a dress in the ring, he should really think about using Nair or something.
The Best
5) Anthony Kingdom James
Our crossover entry. At Wild at the Palisades, Kingdom was not only dressed to the nines in a sharp looking suit, but he wrestled in it. That takes style.
4) Sebastian Dark
You don't have to like the guy, but credit where credit is due: The new tights are simply 2 die 4. Basic black with white trim and matching kickpads. Almost good enough for formalwear.
3) Sterling James Keenan
Fur coat one day, feathered robe the next. The guy is sharp. And I'm loving the new jet black hair.
2) Shiima Xion
He's a model, you know. And always in the finest fashion money can buy. Who could be ranked higher?
1) Chris Maverick
Me of course. Whether I'm in white tiger slacks, designer jeans and T-shirt, or an Armani suit (which I also wrestled in), I am the very definition of fly. Watch and learn boys and girls.
Some people may have a problem with me voting myself into first place. But hey, it's my column. And I really am that damn pretty.
Don't hate the playa', hate the game.
-Mav
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