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JULY 27, 2005
First, since I know a lot of you are still having trouble grasping the concept of indoor plumbing, let me offer a definition for the title of this new column. The term "bully pulpit" was coined by President Theodore Roosevelt in reference to the White House being a terrific platform from which to persuasively advocate a personal agenda. Well, how better to advance my personal opinions on the International Wrestling Cartel than with a weekly op-ed piece on IWC's own website?
So lets get right down to brass tacks, shall we?
Are professional wrestling fans getting stupider? I think they might be. I know of at least one kid out there who's bring down the average on the group IQ tests. Someone recently complained to Shirley Doe that many of the matches on the upcoming July 29th show were the same as the June Monroeville Sports Center event. THEY'RE CALLED FEUDS, SHERLOCK! Just because Southern Comfort get out-smarted on one occasion doesn't mean you dismiss them from the title scene. They're former champs and frankly, incredible wrestlers. Whether or not they ever regain the titles doesn't matter too much to me, but I'm sure as hell enjoying watching them try.
Speaking of the Tag Team titles, how good of a team have Sebastian Dark and HENTAI made already? They've meshed surprisingly well so far and its my sincere hope that they stay together for a year or two and see just how good they can get. All too often tag teams these days are a fly-by-night, matter-of-convenience deal (especially in the WWE, where tag teams have become something best scrapped off one's shoe and into some Hollywood sitcom writer's waste paper basket). I am, personally, a big fan of good tag team wrestling and although tag team wrestling is still a valued commodity on the indy scene, there's still the matter of finding matchmakers who can present it properly.
A summer full of Sebastian Dark and HENTAI vs. Tracy Smothers and Chris Hamrick trying to show each other up and tear each other limb from limb? A summer full of the Gambino Brothers and the Ohio Players clobbering the hell out of each other to be next in line for title shots? Kids, your Uncle Kingdom thinks this is how tag team wrestling
should be presented.
Here's something I'd like to see some input on from the fans: venues. IWC has building-hopped a bit in the last year from the athletic center at CCAC to the cavernous Monroeville Sports Center to the Palisades in McKeesport to the YMCA gymnasium off near Route 30 and Route 148. I'm wondering what the fans think of all this. Has it been hard to get to shows? Since I don't see IWC getting into the cross-town rival's situation (owning or leasing a building which is then dedicated solely to use as your training center and event venue) is there one venue in particular you enjoyed more than the others? Is there a venue IWC hasn't used that you think we're idiots for not going to?
What the hell happened to Jake Garrett challenging Shirley Doe for an IWC World title match? It happened back at Showdown In U-Town 2 at the end of April, when Jake, who had just returned from endless months of injury and rehab on his back, confronted Doe in the center of the ring. Doe excepted the challenge and Garrett showed his gratitude by starting a huge brawl with the champ. Now I certainly don't mean to offend Eddie Kingston or his fans, as he's a deserving challenger and whatever other nicities I'm supposed to say about the guy, but I want to see if Doe can get up after Jake hits him with that roaring elbow (which he personally told me he calls "The Hammer of the Gods").
Jake's been through a lot of crap during his IWC tenure. He's been overlooked, underestimated, passed up and held down and when he came back from his injury he took the bull by the horns and demanded a shot at the top spot that he's been due for a long time.
Well when the hell is it going to happen?
Oh yeah, before I go... Matt Hardy makes his IWC debut this Friday night. Personally, I'm not sure whether I'm excited about this. I know I'm going to get to see better matches out of him during his indy circuit tour than anything he's done on tv in long time, but let's face facts... he's going back to the Fed. This indy tour thing is temporary. I'm pleased to say I'm going to get to call his matches for three different promotions (IWC, 1PW and Summerfest 2005) in the next few months, but this isn't the thrill of anticipation I had before seeing the Original Midnight Express. But for many indy faithful this summer will be the apex of Vee One fandom. And to those folks your Uncle Kingdom says... enjoy him while you can because in a few months he will once again be a full-time cog in the machine that forcefeeds you diva searches and garage band contests while providing the 7 minutes of wrestling per hour that you, as a wrestling fan, demand!
Remember kids, my opinions are right because I can shout louder than you.
-Anthony Kingdom James
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