 |
September 14, 2005
From The Bully Pulpit 6: The Undiscovered Country
The stretch in between shows and being in the midst of my own lengthy absence from IWC makes it hard to drum up material for this column sometimes. I mean, I want to limit my remarks to matters pertaining to IWC itself without straying into why Monday Night Raw sucks or how I stayed up for over a full day last weekend because of a marathon of "24" on A&E.
Let's discuss aesthetics this week, shall we?
Could someone tell Jason Gory that I hate his face paint? Its just horrible. Whenever I see Gory in the ring I think two things: one, this kid is exciting and two, the clowns at the petting zoo did a piss-poor job on that face paint. I mean, couldn't they have made him look like a kitty cat or at least a Raggedy Andy doll?
Apparently you can tell what kind of mood Gory is in by reading and interpreting his face paint. I don't want to give away what it all means but one time I saw him with one side painted up and one side painted down. He helped a little old lady across a busy street, then he shoved her to the sidewalk and gave her a Guy Smiley against the curb.
I know on a couple of occasions I've told the Wild Cards they need to find a few yards of the green faux velvet material and get pants made... You know... 'cuz it would look like a casino gaming table. Then get cards on one leg and their own names down the other.
That's some sweet design action, baby!
T-shirts. There's a lot of really cool t-shirts floating around IWC these days. Shirley Doe's new japanese-inspired skull and crossbones shirts are great. I wear mine to work all the time. Tracy Smothers' ultra mega mass homicide Confederate flag shirts are awesome. Raymond Rowe has a kick ass shirt too. I swear, whatever that boy touches, he can suplex. Personally, I've got a new batch of Union shirts. The logo got a little tweeking and looks great. (Why write this column if I can't put myself over just a little?)
I hope we get something new in an IWC shirt soon, too.
Speaking of t-shirts and aesthetics, I'm glad that both HENTAI and Sebastian Dark have given up wearing theirs in the the ring. HENTAI especially has NEVER needed the shirt as the guy is sporting the best physique that NOT being on steroids will allow. I know I'm not really the guy to say this considering the last time I wrestled in an IWC ring I wasnt just wearing a shirtb, I was wearing a full suit (a la Big Bubba Rogers), but I'm tired of indy guys wrestling in t-shirts. That's right. This fat bastard just told you to hit the gym!!
Ha! I bet everyone's waiting for the day I start taking that advice myself.
Until next week, my friends, please take my advice.... Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
-Anthony Kingdom James
{ - RETURN TO THE MAIN PAGE - }